HELP PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!!

by Rita Oziegbe

It seems having carnal knowledge of little children has become the order of the day. The devil has taken toll of the heart of men, when I say MEN, I don’t necessarily mean MALES but both male and female alike. There are a lot of evil going on in our days, but do we allow the children live with them without our protection and guidance?..... I guess your answer is as good as mine… hell NO!!!  You may want to deny the fact that these things happen or reject the possibility of it happening to your child but the truth remains that THEY HAPPEN! Now don’t be blinded to think that it only happens to female children, even the boys get sexually abused too….. Surprised?... Don’t be.

For those of us who think sexual abuse only has to do with penetration with penis , fingers  or objects, we are wrong because it involves a whole others such as;

Exposing sexual materials or genitals to a child

Touching/ kissing/fondling of genitals and other areas of the body.

Asking a child to touch their own genitals or another person’s.

Talking explicitly, graphically, inappropriately, graphically about sex to a child.

Forced and non- forced sex with an under-aged child.

With all these, how then do we protect them from being vulnerable?...  We begin by not feeding them with lies or myths about sexual abuses. I say this because many parents in trying to deny the reality of these things happening or in their confusion on how to present it to the children, tend to paint the wrong picture to their children. They forget that if they do not tell the children the real truth about the subject, outsiders would and maybe the wrong side of it all. Some believe teaching children about sexual abuses scare them, therefore they think it is best to go mute about it. This is also wrong as the better informed our children are about the happenings around them, the better prepared and protected they are.

Don’t make your children believe that these things happen in only families with problems or broken homes and that they are safe because your own family is a “normal one”, therefore such can’t happen to them. If they are safe within does that imply that they are also safe outside your home. Remember many of the reported cases are perpetrated by members of the family or relatives. It could be their uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, cousins and even by their parents.  Make them also to understand that not only girls can be abused. Yes, as strange as it might sound, boys can be abused too. Make efforts to teach your sons how to protect themselves also. And it is not only men that abuse or rape children because women are also being used as the devil’s instrument in this case. Do not fool them by saying it is only improperly dressed girls get abused because even those in flowing gowns are abused too.

Teach your children the right name for their body part even if it is their private parts else someone will teach them and also touch it for them. Let them know the difference between “safe”,” unsafe” and “unwanted” touch and no matter who does the touching, they should be able to say a big NO when it is unsafe and unwanted. They should also say the NO when they are asked to involve in any kind of sexual activity without fear or favour.  Build a good relationship with your children as this will help them in telling you anything without keeping secrets. Watch out for danger signs in adult and those that your children might be giving you indirectly about an adult or anyone around them. Control their access to the internet and other media usage as this would help you keep a check on the kind of thing that they are exposed to.  At the worst cases, they should scream for help, run and tell anyone that can help.

“OURS TO PLOUGH AND NOT TO PLUNDER”

by Rita Oziegbe

“This earth is
Ours to work not to waste
Ours to man not to main
This earth is ours to plough, not to plunder”

This very last verse of Niyi Osundare’s poem “Ours to plough and not to plunder” during my secondary school days kept ringing in my head as I rode to work thinking of my beloved country, its many riches and the irony of what it has become today. Mother Earth is forced to drink the blood of her children, her beautiful clothes of rich green grasses and trees of various kinds with sweet smelling flowers has turned into rags from oil spills, refuse dumps, decomposing corpse, flood and the numerous destruction from the various bombing activities of different  groups.

Why do we bring so much shame to her, why do we turn ourselves who are her children into instruments of her pain. Even God himself weeps at the sight of what she has become. Nigeria, we used to be Africa’s pride, her giant, her beauty, her glory…… Where are these now... All of them, we have traded and for what? Greed, pride and covetousness. Our home land which is supposed to provide refuge and succor has turned into large mouths of scary pits that swallow us. Did I hear you ask “where are the elders?”……. Of course we have them, but they themselves are the reason for our downfall. They were to lead us to greatness but instead they lead us to perdition, they were to guide us but they seem confused themselves, they were to care for us but they neglect us, caring for themselves and their pockets. The youths they say are the leaders of tomorrow but they have turned us into thugs, thieves, assassins and all sorts of evil machineries.

God have mercy! For our beloved land weeps, she begs for restoration of all her lost glories, she begs us to put a smile back on her face. Stop the killing for the lives we have lost can never be regained. Stop the oil spills for Mother Earth longs to be adorned once again with flowers and rich vegetation. Stop the bombing for it is taking us no where rather we are retrogressing as a nation. STOP! STOP!! STOP!!!........ THIS EARTH IS OURS TO PLOUGH AND NOT TO PLUNDER!!!!

PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IN CHILDREN'S EDUCATION

by Rita Oziegbe

Being a parent, makes you the child’s first and most important teacher. The importance of the involvement of parents, family and care takers in children’s education cannot be overemphasized as the children do better, achieve more in school and feel better about their schooling. When we talk about parent’s involvement, we don’t just mean the paying of their school fees, buying of their school materials, participating in school meetings and raising funds for the school, it involves the active engagement with the child’s learning at home and at school.

No thanks to the global economic meltdown with everyone trying to make ends meet, both parents leave home very early in the morning and come home almost when the children are asleep, tired out and going straight to bed only to continue the same cycle the next day. During the weekends that parents should spend time with their children, they find themselves involved in other activities such as town meetings, club meeting and religious gatherings. Not that these are bad in themselves but that the future of those whom we claim to be doing them for, is sacrificed. With these, it is clear that more is expected of the parents if we are to be actively engaged in the children’s learning.

 How then do we get started?... The following are some helpful tips;

Create a form of partnership with your child’s teachers and school staff. Meet your child’s teacher and make it known that you are interested in helping your child learn, find out the areas your child is having problems and discuss how it can be solved. Let the teacher know that he/she is free to get in touch with you should your child develop any other problem. Get to know other people who help in your child’s learning  since there are many other people involve in the day to day running f the school activities and be able to control how they affect your child’s learning. If the English language they use in school is what scares you, then you can get an interpreter while you use your local language or one you are comfortable with to communicate your concerns.

Don’t just leave the rest to the teacher but take a step further by supporting your child’s learning at home. Make out time to help with their homework or other school related activities, don’t do their homework for them for it will not help them on the long run, encourage them to  use the media effectively, discuss educational issues with the child, talk with the child and find out his/her areas of difficulties and offer help in terms of advice on how these difficulties can be addressed, encourage them to read and use the library but you can make it more fun by participating in some reading exercises with them. Monitor the child’s usage of the television, video games and the internet and above all; demonstrate a strong positive attitude about education to your children because they look up to you as a role model.

Engage in a kind of follow up on your child’s performance in school, get special services if your child needs one, help the child prepare for test and examinations and get to review the child’s report card each time it comes out. Your not being learned is not an excuse, you can involve other family members who are educated or get help from educated people around you. Ensure that your children attend school regularly as this also help in their performance. All these and more might seem tasking but WORTHWHILE. May God bless all the efforts we make towards our children’s success in life.